How much tp should you really use?

I am writing about poo now so that I can forget the sh*t of the past few days and move forward. (Thank you Mookie, I am not posting the other "mean" post...As you are right...It will only cause more drama.) Instead, I am writing about proper wiping habits.

The picture to your left is an actual brand of toilet tissue. Can you imagine how funny it would be if you got into a discussion about what type of tp you use and you reply was "Shitbegone."? They go into great detail on their
site about proper wiping habits. Just a few little tidbits of information:

1. Embossed, not always better. Can be scratchy and irritating if not embossed properly.

2. Fluffy on the roll not always better, just filled with air and you don't wipe with the entire roll of tp.

3. You should never wipe with a crumpled piece of tp. Just like with paper, this causes rough edges and can only irritate your rump. PLEASE, fold...wipe...fold...wipe, discard. Save trees while in the process!

I hope that you are all happy with my educating you on the proper wiping techniques. Potty on, potty people!

Lindsay

P.S. There is also another new type of toilet paper that actually has feet on it so that you kids can count how many feet they need for a proper amount of tp. Rumor has it that you only need 5 sheets. No need for the "catchers-mit" type of wiping technique. You are only killing the trees!